Who People Think You Are VS Who You Really Are

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Everyone judges—it’s just a part of human nature. We think a person is something and we find out they’re actually the complete opposite of what we originally thought they were. Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a judgement free world? However, the judging part isn’t even what makes it bad. What makes it bad is, instead of judging, realizing we’re judging, then having an open mind, we automatically take what we think is true, and make it true. For example, you may think someone looks mean but they could be the sweetest person ever! Or, vice versa! 

STORY TIME . . . I knew a girl (won’t mention any names) in my gym class back when I was in high school. I never spoke a single word to her, never even looked at her. But she was going around telling everyone, “Oh, I hate Victoria. She’s such a bitch.” So finally I went up to her one day during gym and just started talking to her. We talked for a good fifteen minutes, laughed, and had a great time. Then, I found out she was still saying all of those rude things about me. There was a guy in my science class who I thought looked like an asshole. Guess what? By the end of the semester we became friends, and I discovered he’s one of the nicest people ever. See the difference? Some people can change their mind and be mature, but others (like that one girl) refuse to admit to being wrong, so they will never change their mind.

I’ll just take a moment now to tell you all a little something about me:

Who People Think I Am:

A super rich girl who is super popular and won’t talk to anyone who I think is below me. I always have an “I’m too good for you” look on my face and posture because I’m too cocky to even look at anyone. I’m also a major bitch and I sleep around.

Who I Really Am:

A middle class girl with only a few good friends and I would love to have a conversation with anyone. I have a mean looking resting face but I can’t help it; I smile and laugh so much around other people that you wouldn’t even recognize me! I can be a major bitch, I will admit that. But hey, there’s some people out there that I just don’t wanna be friends with. And no, I do not sleep around, I think that’s gross. Seriously, people thought when I was twelve that I wasn’t a virgin. 

So . . . do you guys see the difference? I just have one question. WHY?! Everybody thinks I am like that. Even my boyfriend who I’ve been with for three years said that when he first met me, he never thought that I liked him, he thought that my niceness was me actually making fun of him and he thought I had a handful of friends and that I thought I was superior to everyone. One of my best friends thought I was a bitch, and never wanted to start a conversation first with me. Finally we talked and instantly clicked. And another old friend said that when she first met me, she thought I was a popular rich girl who would never ever want to be her friend. Only once did someone tell me (in Orlando, actually) that she thought I was just shy when I met her. Then once people become my friend they are shocked to find out how sweet and caring I am. One girl even told me (this was like five years ago but I will remember it forever), “You’re such a people person!” 😀

I guess I’m just writing this post in case anyone ever stumbles upon it, because I obviously can’t shout out to the world, “I’M A NICE PERSON!” so I have to start making eye contact with people, smiling at strangers, etc.

I think everyone gives off a negative impression sometimes. People used to think my boyfriend was either super angry or super high all the time because of his face, and he’s never either of those things. So you know what, I am so over judging people. Every time I think one way about someone, they turn into the exact opposite. It’s basically my karma saying, “Oh, yeah? Well guess what honey, you’re wrong.” 

The moral of the story is try not to judge people too harshly without giving them a chance. Or, if your natural human instinct simply forces you to create a mental image of someone in your head, don’t believe it right away. Give other people the benefit of the doubt.

Remember, it’s not just a cliché . . . Be nice to the world and the world will be nice to you right back.

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7 Things I Learned From Being A Kid

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We’ve all learned a couple of things from being a kid and we have all had some positive and some negative childhood experiences. As a kid, I was extremely shy and very awkward. Which is like the complete opposite for me now, seeing as I am outgoing and talkative. But nonetheless, here are the seven things that I learned from being a kid.

You’ll never outgrow your favourite toys.

I still wish I had my entire Hamtaro play set, all four of my Tamagotchis, my Pixel Chix set, my Hamtaro plushies, and my My Scene dolls. Some days I just look on eBay and dream of buying them all back. On a more positive note, I still sleep with Blankey every night. It’s a Winnie the Pooh blanket that was bought a week before I was born for me, and my boyfriend and I love it. As a kid I’d tell my parents, “When I become a bratty teenager and want to throw it away, make sure you hold onto it, okay?” Well thank God I never went through that stage.

Christmas is the absolute best time of year.

Even though Christmas is great as an adult, it just doesn’t feel as magical as it did when you were a kid. I learned that being a kid is great because you believe in magic, you are innocent and carefree and just focus on having fun. Cookies, presents, trees, snowmen, snow angels, Santa, reindeer, Christmas movies, and the scent of pine all bring back nostalgia from a person’s childhood. 

Adults are not always right.

When you’re a kid, adults seem so superior. They are older, can tell you what to do, and can boss you around. As a kid you think adults are perfect and never make any mistakes. But as a matter of fact that is indeed very far fetched from the truth. Adults are not always right, and as we grow up, we learn that.

It’s okay to be weird.

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Let’s get one thing straight: people are judgemental assholes, even as kids. If you’re not alike everyone else and you do your own thing and have different interests, you will be an outsider, teased, called weird, and even bullied. But as we grow older, we tune out what everyone else is saying because we are happy for who we are and what we like. We no longer need to listen to others, we’ve grown and learned that it doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say. If we’re happy, then that’s all that matters. Besides, being weird is better than being just like everyone else.

You need to have confidence in life.

Confidence is key. Once you have confidence, you can be happy anywhere you go. Having confidence in life is crucial. If you never think you’re good at anything or have a good ability, then where will you go? Doubting yourself is the worst thing you can do for low self esteem. Be positive, be confident, and good things will come your way.

Never take anything for granted.

If something (or someone) good is happening in your life, never take it for granted and assume it will always be there. Smile, be happy, and love it. 

Just breathe because you’ll make it one day.

This last one is more like a message to myself. Like previously said, I was a really weird kid. As I grew older, I didn’t have many friends, I had a weird style, I didn’t act like everyone else because I matured way quicker than the other kids, I had different interests, and I had a different personality. Therefore, in grade school I was bullied and teased and harassed, even by the teachers. There was probably two teachers that actually showed me respect at that school. No one ever believed in me, I was just that ugly weird girl in the corner who has one friend, wears Hannah Montana tattoos in her face, hides in the bathroom during recess and hides in the locker room during gym class. Yeah, I didn’t have much confidence then. But bam, I was thirteen and I wrote and self published my first novel which made kids in my class glow with envy. Then I wrote, directed, and starred in a Christmas play that the whole school and their parents came to see. Then I graduated and more years passed. I fixed my eyebrows and my hair, I wore make-up, I had a better style, but more importantly, I found myself and grew confidence. (I was kinda teased in high school too, but I brought it onto myself by being a bitch. Oh well, those people deserved it.) Now I run a blog, have an amazing older boyfriend, run a YouTube channel and actually have a fan base, and I’m trying to get my books in the stores. So see, kiddies, anything is possible. Believe in yourself to be a better person. Just remember to be kind to others even when it’s hard, and love yourself!

See you soon,

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Sex Facts 101

Time to get away from the norm and try something new. A lot of articles and posts are just about facts that (hopefully) we all know already, and stuff about telling people how to think, what to do, and how to act. (For example: “If you’re a virgin, you’re a loser, gay, pathetic, ugly, etc). However, it’s sad to think that not everyone’s voices are heard when it comes to the topic, particularly people who disagree with the above statements. It’s mostly because of media and peer pressure—we fear being shamed and tortured for voicing our opinions. (Sorry if you’re disappointed with the title because you were hoping for something else.) But after seeing this post on the “Confessions of a Demisexual” Tumblr blog, I just had to write a post with these little “facts” for all of you. Fun fact—it almost has 80,000 reposts. Awesome. 

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These are all great things to remember and realize, that everyone has different preferences, values, and ideas. My favourite was the picture “You don’t need fixing”. It’s true. I always used to feel like that because I never thought about sex the way most people do. (Thank you for the Tumblr blogs out there for making demisexuality posts and letting people connect with each other.) I really do hope that one day people will stop judging people or think they’re weird or stupid for not thinking the same way they do. (Because let’s face it, shaming people for not wanting to have sex is just as bad as shaming people for wanting to have sex.) 

Thanks for reading loves, stay strong and remember there’s always at least one person in the world that thinks/feels the exact same way you do about something (whatever that may be). Go find them. Please. You don’t need fixing. 😉

 

— Victoria xoxo

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