Everyone judges—it’s just a part of human nature. We think a person is something and we find out they’re actually the complete opposite of what we originally thought they were. Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a judgement free world? However, the judging part isn’t even what makes it bad. What makes it bad is, instead of judging, realizing we’re judging, then having an open mind, we automatically take what we think is true, and make it true. For example, you may think someone looks mean but they could be the sweetest person ever! Or, vice versa!
STORY TIME . . . I knew a girl (won’t mention any names) in my gym class back when I was in high school. I never spoke a single word to her, never even looked at her. But she was going around telling everyone, “Oh, I hate Victoria. She’s such a bitch.” So finally I went up to her one day during gym and just started talking to her. We talked for a good fifteen minutes, laughed, and had a great time. Then, I found out she was still saying all of those rude things about me. There was a guy in my science class who I thought looked like an asshole. Guess what? By the end of the semester we became friends, and I discovered he’s one of the nicest people ever. See the difference? Some people can change their mind and be mature, but others (like that one girl) refuse to admit to being wrong, so they will never change their mind.
I’ll just take a moment now to tell you all a little something about me:
A super rich girl who is super popular and won’t talk to anyone who I think is below me. I always have an “I’m too good for you” look on my face and posture because I’m too cocky to even look at anyone. I’m also a major bitch and I sleep around.
A middle class girl with only a few good friends and I would love to have a conversation with anyone. I have a mean looking resting face but I can’t help it; I smile and laugh so much around other people that you wouldn’t even recognize me! I can be a major bitch, I will admit that. But hey, there’s some people out there that I just don’t wanna be friends with. And no, I do not sleep around, I think that’s gross. Seriously, people thought when I was twelve that I wasn’t a virgin.
So . . . do you guys see the difference? I just have one question. WHY?! Everybody thinks I am like that. Even my boyfriend who I’ve been with for three years said that when he first met me, he never thought that I liked him, he thought that my niceness was me actually making fun of him and he thought I had a handful of friends and that I thought I was superior to everyone. One of my best friends thought I was a bitch, and never wanted to start a conversation first with me. Finally we talked and instantly clicked. And another old friend said that when she first met me, she thought I was a popular rich girl who would never ever want to be her friend. Only once did someone tell me (in Orlando, actually) that she thought I was just shy when I met her. Then once people become my friend they are shocked to find out how sweet and caring I am. One girl even told me (this was like five years ago but I will remember it forever), “You’re such a people person!” 😀
I guess I’m just writing this post in case anyone ever stumbles upon it, because I obviously can’t shout out to the world, “I’M A NICE PERSON!” so I have to start making eye contact with people, smiling at strangers, etc.
I think everyone gives off a negative impression sometimes. People used to think my boyfriend was either super angry or super high all the time because of his face, and he’s never either of those things. So you know what, I am so over judging people. Every time I think one way about someone, they turn into the exact opposite. It’s basically my karma saying, “Oh, yeah? Well guess what honey, you’re wrong.”
The moral of the story is try not to judge people too harshly without giving them a chance. Or, if your natural human instinct simply forces you to create a mental image of someone in your head, don’t believe it right away. Give other people the benefit of the doubt.
Remember, it’s not just a cliché . . . Be nice to the world and the world will be nice to you right back.
Here’s a few life reminders to inspire you and to help encourage you to keep positive!
— Victoria Hecnar xx