Who People Think You Are VS Who You Really Are

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Everyone judges—it’s just a part of human nature. We think a person is something and we find out they’re actually the complete opposite of what we originally thought they were. Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a judgement free world? However, the judging part isn’t even what makes it bad. What makes it bad is, instead of judging, realizing we’re judging, then having an open mind, we automatically take what we think is true, and make it true. For example, you may think someone looks mean but they could be the sweetest person ever! Or, vice versa! 

STORY TIME . . . I knew a girl (won’t mention any names) in my gym class back when I was in high school. I never spoke a single word to her, never even looked at her. But she was going around telling everyone, “Oh, I hate Victoria. She’s such a bitch.” So finally I went up to her one day during gym and just started talking to her. We talked for a good fifteen minutes, laughed, and had a great time. Then, I found out she was still saying all of those rude things about me. There was a guy in my science class who I thought looked like an asshole. Guess what? By the end of the semester we became friends, and I discovered he’s one of the nicest people ever. See the difference? Some people can change their mind and be mature, but others (like that one girl) refuse to admit to being wrong, so they will never change their mind.

I’ll just take a moment now to tell you all a little something about me:

Who People Think I Am:

A super rich girl who is super popular and won’t talk to anyone who I think is below me. I always have an “I’m too good for you” look on my face and posture because I’m too cocky to even look at anyone. I’m also a major bitch and I sleep around.

Who I Really Am:

A middle class girl with only a few good friends and I would love to have a conversation with anyone. I have a mean looking resting face but I can’t help it; I smile and laugh so much around other people that you wouldn’t even recognize me! I can be a major bitch, I will admit that. But hey, there’s some people out there that I just don’t wanna be friends with. And no, I do not sleep around, I think that’s gross. Seriously, people thought when I was twelve that I wasn’t a virgin. 

So . . . do you guys see the difference? I just have one question. WHY?! Everybody thinks I am like that. Even my boyfriend who I’ve been with for three years said that when he first met me, he never thought that I liked him, he thought that my niceness was me actually making fun of him and he thought I had a handful of friends and that I thought I was superior to everyone. One of my best friends thought I was a bitch, and never wanted to start a conversation first with me. Finally we talked and instantly clicked. And another old friend said that when she first met me, she thought I was a popular rich girl who would never ever want to be her friend. Only once did someone tell me (in Orlando, actually) that she thought I was just shy when I met her. Then once people become my friend they are shocked to find out how sweet and caring I am. One girl even told me (this was like five years ago but I will remember it forever), “You’re such a people person!” 😀

I guess I’m just writing this post in case anyone ever stumbles upon it, because I obviously can’t shout out to the world, “I’M A NICE PERSON!” so I have to start making eye contact with people, smiling at strangers, etc.

I think everyone gives off a negative impression sometimes. People used to think my boyfriend was either super angry or super high all the time because of his face, and he’s never either of those things. So you know what, I am so over judging people. Every time I think one way about someone, they turn into the exact opposite. It’s basically my karma saying, “Oh, yeah? Well guess what honey, you’re wrong.” 

The moral of the story is try not to judge people too harshly without giving them a chance. Or, if your natural human instinct simply forces you to create a mental image of someone in your head, don’t believe it right away. Give other people the benefit of the doubt.

Remember, it’s not just a cliché . . . Be nice to the world and the world will be nice to you right back.

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12 Tips For Success And Confidence

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If you’re reading this right now, then I want it to be no secret that you have a talent, hidden or not, and you have all of the potential in the world to gain success and confidence. We all (hopefully) have major goals that we want to accomplish in life. The problem? Less than 50% get there. Is it because they simply couldn’t? Is it because they weren’t good enough? No and no. It’s because if things fail for a while or it seems hopeless, then people lose hope. They give up. But you can’t. Because you will make it one day.

12 TIPS FOR SUCCESS AND CONFIDENCE 

  1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it. 
  2. Say exactly what you mean and never less.
  3. Don’t be a people pleaser. In life, it’s okay to be a little selfish. You don’t owe anyone anything.
  4. Trust your instincts. They could bring you to your fate.
  5. Never speak bad about yourself. Throw away the idea of being your worst critic. Instead, be your biggest fan.
  6. Don’t be afraid to say no.
  7. Don’t be afraid to say yes.
  8. Be kind to yourself.
  9. Let go of what you can’t control. 
  10. Stay away from drama and negativity. You don’t need it. Be positive.
  11. Love. Love yourself, love others, love things, love life. 

 

Thanks for reading! Subscribe to my blog for weekly posts just like this one. 

 

Photo Credit: Tumblr. All rights reserved to the respective owners. 

Live In The Moment

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Live in the moment. Feel the cool breeze brush lightly through your hair. Watch all of the city lights around you at night time buzz with their exciting brightness. Listen to your surroundings; the soft and the loud. Touch things that catch your attention, and let your hands linger everlastingly. Take a sip of a warm frothy drink on a winter’s evening, savouring the warmth of it. Gaze into your partner’s eyes and hold their hand. Gently caress their soft skin, silently thanking them for being a part of your life. Lay down with them and put your head onto their chest, feeling their beautiful heartbeat as both your mind and body drift off into a deep slumber. Do what you want to do, see what you want to see, and be who you want to be. Because life is so short that it’ll all be over before we even know it. So capture this moment. Hold onto it and never let it fade away. Stop thinking about tomorrow. Stop thinking about yesterday. Just think about right now and the beauty that’s all around you. Live in the moment.

– Victoria xoxo

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Sex Facts 101

Time to get away from the norm and try something new. A lot of articles and posts are just about facts that (hopefully) we all know already, and stuff about telling people how to think, what to do, and how to act. (For example: “If you’re a virgin, you’re a loser, gay, pathetic, ugly, etc). However, it’s sad to think that not everyone’s voices are heard when it comes to the topic, particularly people who disagree with the above statements. It’s mostly because of media and peer pressure—we fear being shamed and tortured for voicing our opinions. (Sorry if you’re disappointed with the title because you were hoping for something else.) But after seeing this post on the “Confessions of a Demisexual” Tumblr blog, I just had to write a post with these little “facts” for all of you. Fun fact—it almost has 80,000 reposts. Awesome. 

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These are all great things to remember and realize, that everyone has different preferences, values, and ideas. My favourite was the picture “You don’t need fixing”. It’s true. I always used to feel like that because I never thought about sex the way most people do. (Thank you for the Tumblr blogs out there for making demisexuality posts and letting people connect with each other.) I really do hope that one day people will stop judging people or think they’re weird or stupid for not thinking the same way they do. (Because let’s face it, shaming people for not wanting to have sex is just as bad as shaming people for wanting to have sex.) 

Thanks for reading loves, stay strong and remember there’s always at least one person in the world that thinks/feels the exact same way you do about something (whatever that may be). Go find them. Please. You don’t need fixing. 😉

 

— Victoria xoxo

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How To Be Inspirational

If you want to give your life purpose, then being an inspiration to yourself and others is a great way to go. Here are some great tips posted by author Robin Sharma to get you going.

1. Do important work vs. merely offering opinions. 2. Lift people up vs. tear others down. 3. Use the words of leadership vs. the language of victimhood. 4. Don’t worry about getting the credit for getting things done. 5. Become part of the solution rather than part of the problem. 6. Take your health to a level called superfit. 7. Commit to mastery of your craft instead of accepting mediocrity in your work.   8. Associate with people whose lives you want to be living. 9. Study for an hour a day. Double your learning and you’ll triple your success. 10. Run your own race. “No one can possibly achieve real and lasting success by being a conformist,” wrote billionaire J. Paul Getty 11. Do something small yet scary every single day. 12. Lead Without a Title. 13. Focus on people’s strengths vs. obsessing around their weaknesses. 14. Remember that potential unused turns into pain. So dedicate yourself to expressing your best. 15. Smile more. 16. Listen more. 17. Read the autobiography of Nelson Mandela. 18. Reflect on the words of Eleanor Roosevelt who said: “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” 19. Persist longer than the critics suggest you should. 20. Say “please” and “thank you”. 21. Love your loved ones. 22. Do work that matters.